Tomorrow is the big day that one doctor or another will give me options

I did not sleep very well last night. To many things on my mind I guess.  I just want to be free of pain.  I am old and I am sensible enough to realize I will never be pain free.  But if they can do away with the  hip and knee problem so I can walk without pain it will be great.  I go through a lot in my mind.  I am wondering if  I should even bother at 82, to spend all the money for co-pays.  There will be a lot of those and probably not cheap,. and I wonder  if I should do it but I will.  I have already started and won’t stop now, even if it makes it very difficult to pay all the bills.  I am the one that  spreads our checking account out, to everyone,   and tries to keep it balanced.  Sometimes almost impossible but I just get it done.  In politics we keep hearing doing things so the middle class people will be better off. Joe asked what class are we in? I said the poor class.  He said where were we when we both worked, and I said the Middle class,,. but I am not sure we were.  Me as a woman who kept having kids could not expect good pay, because I did not work very far into my pregnancies  because most of my work was a lot of heavy lifting.  Joe didn’t make decent money until his last job, he got raises and they started a 401K.  We had a little built up in that and I took just part time work when I had the chance and we did pretty good.  Then Joe went into heart failure.  They cashed out his 401K and sent his last pay check to us, but said if he  got well and  the doctor released him, he would have the same job as before.  He went back to work and lasted 3 years but it was taking its toll.  I was still working part time at the grocery store when Alan got so bad he couldn’t talk, eat and seldom slept.  We had a good caregiver at that time but I knew his time was short so I would sometimes spend the night.  He got to die in his apartment that he spent mostly in bed even after he knew he should not be alone,  MS is not a pretty thing to watch, take him.  Sorry this turned out to be such a long entry of complaint, and my mind telling my fingers to put it down on paper.  Good thing any of you don’t have to read it.  Just go to a happy blog.  We had excellent  hospice care.