Sunday, December 22, 2013

Lost my entire entry!!! $@#*% Tried every trick in the book but it disappeared never to be seen again. I would gout in the streets and dance to get rid of my frustrations, but it is  icy , snowy and I don’t want Jack to know that  dancing is not in my best interest if I don’t want to break a bone.  It is spitting snow.  Just figured out this is the second round of the same flu I got right after Thanksgiving only I didn’t have the constant headache, I have now.  This won’t stop the kids from going to Ron’s.  They all have newer cars and are a little younger.  I can not truly explain what I felt this year.  I just didn’t want top be with my clan.  I wasn’t feeling well.  I just missed my 5 brothers and 4 sisters and mom and dad but mostly, and this is daily, my son.  Just not such a deep feeling of sadness.  I have always been able to shake it off and go on with my life.  It seems like an omen that I thought of my 2 sisters that  passed away sometime ago, but I always included my sisters and brothers at  holidays and I remembered the 2 of them sitting on the couch and my older sister’s husband had passed away, but no one was talking to them and I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off.  Thanksgiving it was me.  Sitting by my daughter but no one talking to me.  To much of an age gap, I guess.  Of course my daughter had cooked for all of us and she looked so tired. I answered when spoken to but I really , realized that I am my sisters now.  Plus I know my limitations now and I knew I couldn’t carry dirty dishes up stairs, or really do almost nothing.  My balance is terrible.  The other thing that I had not thought of was Glen, my brother who died at the age of 20 with a brain tumor.  They did surgery but could not save him.  The image of him in his casket with Cotton over the incision and looking so young.  Then Marty’s dad at 37 just about did me in..  Sorry my friends but I think I just had my own therapy session, at your expense. I put some more demons to rest.  Thank you for listening, to my blogger friends.  You never let me down.


jack69 said...

Funny (not haha) that we have become the older folk we used to know.
NOW, STOP IT!. it is a rule you cannot be sick at Christmas. So suck it up! GET WELL!

Love from here and we do hope you get to feeling better, it is the pits being sick around a holiday!!

Sherry & Jack sending:

Chatty Crone said...

You know I think it is so easy when we are older to get blue at Christmas. I have to say I am more this Christmas then I can remember and I am not exactly sure why. I miss my more more this year and I just have other things I wish I could change like my son. Some times you just have to sit with things and let them affect you. You know I want you to feel better really soon. sandie

Paula said...

You just vent all you want. Hope it helps you.


Sounds like you've come to terms with the way things are. that's all we can hope for.

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Lincoln, Ne., United States
I am married, had 5 children. 4 boys and 1 girl. Oldest is deceased. 9 grand kids, 10 great grand child and 2 more on the way. .I love hearing from people, and have made some true friends on the blog, (I think) I hope. We have a fat beagle named Spunky 5 years old and spoiled rotten, but we are huge dog lovers. Married 44 years.